You know when its time....

Today I had my long anticipated phone consultation with the very special and most amazing Jon Gabriel.  It was the last part of my Case Study program that I had left.  A one on one consultation that I had waited and held off having till I felt ready to make the most of it.

Of late, life has been so good.  Yes there are ups and downs but my healthy handling of them has been a real achievement and testimony to the holistic benefits of the Gabriel Method.

As time goes by habits and life for me can get a little boring.  I am the kind of person always looking for the "next big thing" or the next bit of excitement.  I am learning this more and more about myself.

Recently I felt I was slipping back into some not so healthy habits, nutritionally, mentally and physically.  And I am so grateful that I now have such a good self awareness to address things before they become the next big failure!.  (habit of the past).

I have allowed Gluten to invade my life (especially wheat)... not so much like before but I'm realising that I have been giving myself permission to eat bad food (a food that is bad for my health) and this in turn has become a bad habit.  

Finding that fine line between Self discipline, self control and self loving can be really hard to do sometimes!

What I have to often do is STOP.. LISTEN .. LEARN .. then ACT... its a process that takes time to do sometimes and I don't always give myself space to do it.  But I knew 2 weeks ago it was time to STOP.. listen to my heart and my self talk... learn some lessons and ACT...

This lead me to seek help from the most amazing NLP (Neuro linguistic programming) coach and good friend Joel de la Cruz from:

 http://www.yourrelationshiporacle.com/ 

Joel and I go way back and its been such a pleasure to see how smart he is when it comes to people and relationships - so its no surprise he is known as "The Relationship Oracle". 

Joel and I had a NLP session where he helped me identify some stuff that I actually didn't fully appreciate about myself. 

After I had my NLP session with Joel I knew it was time to speak to Jon Gabriel.. to take my Nutritional and Body journey to the next level.. to REALLY show myself how important I am.. and worthy of living happy, content and healthy.  

Today was the day I had my consultation with Jon.  He is AWESOME, AMAZING, Inspiring, generous and totally "gets me".  I can chat easily and freely with him.. and he never judges but he never lies either.. he will tell you what he thinks.. and I like that!.

Today as expected (and if I am honest wanted) Jon told me if there was just ONE thing he wanted me to change forever that would be to NO LONGER eat Gluten.. which, I had adopted that lifestyle once before but it had crept back in when I got too lazy, life got too busy or too hard.. BUT.. I needed to hear this from the one person who could tell me to NOT do something and I actually DO listen to..  I allow Jon to have this power over me because I absolutely trust him.  Jon actually had a few golden nuggets of advice that I will be implementing them.  

The more I trust myself the more I understand that The Gabriel Method, though a program of adding.. there are some things I choose to ditch too.. BUT it does not need to seem like a DIET.. because there is NOTHING diet about it.  I can trust that its a tool box.. a tailor made set of value and principles that I have adopted to let me be the healthiest mind, body and soul.

I don't think Jon fully knows the power he has over me and the respect I have for him.. I know Jon as absolutely trustworthy and that is a place held by just a few people in my life.   

Over time I may not have so much contact directly with The Gabriel Method as I just take on the lifestyle as my own but I have decided that is OK..  When something becomes too conditional in my life I know then I have made it into a "diet" or diet mindset.  But the fact that its been well over a year since starting to learn the Gabriel Method and I'm STILL doing it.. STILL living it.. and STILL LOVING it. AND ITS WORKING!!   I know its a Keeper.. and that's what counts.. and its through CONSISTENCY and NOT complacency that I will achieve my goal of being a medically healthy weight, a well balanced emotionally stabled and loving friend, wife, sister, mother.

Time heals all wounds after its wounded all heels!

Wow its been two weeks since I last posted.. confessing my struggles.. well.. what a difference a week or two makes....

I feel back on track.. back in the game... on top of it all...

This last week I have been concentrating on LIVING.. and keeping emotional eating at bay... I have been meditating using the Qi Gong techniques I have learned from  Gabriel Method Qi Gong and I have also been using inspiration from Brian Killian who produces the Gabriel Method Fitness program and also been juicing more and eating more live food.. with all this ADDING I finally feel back on top of life, coping with the blips without eating the Junk Foods and  feeling blue.

Life is still stressful at time; finances can still be erratic but I am still focusing on Abundant thoughts and Abundant beliefs - living generously and God is really honouring this as money seems to come in right when we need it!!.. 

Life to me is about consistently moving forward even when it feels like I have come to a standstill.. we need those STOP moments to regroup and to assess when things need to be changed or developed. 

Never let a Blip in the road sabotage all the great work LIVING you have already achieved!

Struggling does not mean losing!

It's time to fess up.. I am struggling.... this last few weeks have been hard as slowly more and more processed foods have snuck back into my daily eating.  Gluten bread here,  packet of chips there, a day lots of dairy.. its seems thematic.. not binges but items that I had preferred not to eat for months have now become edible again.  But.. its OK.. it really is.....

I am so proud of myself for not giving up and turning my back on my new life.. I am proud that I am accepting these foods as pleasure giving and not enemies.

I am still daily drinking a live green home made juice and I am still daily taking my life giving supplements that help me detox and regenerate.  

But mentally I have struggled.  I find myself battling ME.. On one hand I can give such support, encouragement and knowledge to others but I seem to be the expert talking the talk but at the moment really struggling walking the walk.

I am slowly reading a book by Lissa Rankin called Mind over medicine and its challenging me to the core.  I believe what she says.. I have first hand experience with what she teaches yet the more I read the more I fight it.  I just want my mind to SHUT UP sometimes and just get on with stuff.

I have a daily encouragement book in my toilet that I make sure I read daily.  It''s inspirational and amazing how appropriate the words are each day to my mood or the theme.  

As part of my "new me"  approach to life I have been slowly chipping away at piles of junk and clutter in our house and realising how much we have hidden away in boxes, cupboards and drawers..

As I throw stuff out in black bin bags, I get outraged it hubby even SNIFFS at the bags of rubbish.. and he WILL lose a hand if he tries to sift through ANY that I have already deemed rubbish.  He too struggles throwing stuff away and uses The excuse that he just wants to check if I might have mixed in recycling with it.." I JUST DON'T CARE BUDDY... I have filled the recycling bin enough to not worry about a little here and there being sent to landfill... "

So.. you can see its been a pretty interesting few weeks.

BUT.. I'm philosophical as usual.  I know this process must happen for me to achieve my ultimate goal of staying alive for as long as I can by being the healthiest and most balanced being. 

YET... I must acknowledge its not easy some days.... the days when all I want to eat is Fruit Toast with butter and mugs of coffee... but I have decided that I will allow myself those days as I am aware of them.. and the battle.  and I wont let the battle destroy  me but to mature and strengthen me.  

Check out the NEW Gabriel Method Fitness Program

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE!

My own Journey is my destiny

With weight loss diet plans its always highly "goal" orientated.. and I struggled all the time knowing what was a realistic and ideal goal.  I could never set a goal because I never understood why some weeks my body shed lots of weight and others I put on weight.

When I discovered the Gabriel Method all the old DIET ways were thrown in the bin and new concepts and ideas were presented.

Understanding my BODY first and its needs was something I had surface knowledge of (like every experienced diet follower learns) but I never understood the core root of WHY my body was fat to begin with.

Society have "dumbed" down the whole understanding of weight loss/gain and tried to convince the world its all about Calories IN and Energy OUT.  Yes this is PART of the process.. but it NEVER factored in the Brain and Body connection.  Slowly that message is getting out there.

I have seen through the TV show The Biggest Loser that they are finally focusing on the MENTAL relationships side of Obesity and less on the exercise and food aspects.. and this years Australian Families Biggest loser is the first one I watched "religiously" with my 7 yr old son and I respected the show.. enjoyed its entertainment value but also the way it enabled conversations with the kids and implementation of NEW ways in our house hold.

For me I no longer have a GOAL that is weight focused.  I'm focusing on little steps and bigger respect for my body, my soul, my spirit, my LIFE as a whole.

Life is now a JOURNEY and Destination in ONE.  I am seeing every moment as an arrival.  Every experience as a Fait Accompli because every second counts!.  Every word, breath, mouthful of food, thought, emotion, interaction .. EVERYTHING matters.  Its what focus I put on everything individually that will determine next steps.

If I focus too much on FOOD.. then I find my mind can't focus on my SOUL.. if I focus too much on NEGATIVES.. I can't focus on LOVING..   If I focus too much on being SICK.. I can't focus on being WELL.


WHAT IS YOUR FOCUS TODAY ON?   

Every moment matters. ..  I want to embrace and enjoy it all!

Living and not being controlled

I am sorry I have not blogged for a while.  I have been working on LIVING instead of being overly obsessive about food, Gabriel Method and the semantics of Nutrition. 

I have a huge knowledge base already of what I 'should' be doing and I have to trust myself now to KNOW the right thing to do day in and day out.

I have had a huge liberation from feeling the need to actually Juice daily (I am still drinking Green Juice every day though) once I trusted that I could make a batch of Juice that would last a couple of days.  This has let me off the leash for some freedom to get on with life and enjoy it.

I have been able to eat out with my family and "GM" up my meals by carrying Chia seeds with me.   I also carry my own "sugar" blend to sweeten my green teas and occasional long black coffee..  Its basically Half Coconut Palm Sugar granules and Half Xylitol granules.  Its a really nice blend as its not overly sweet but it adds flavour to what can be bitterness from tea and coffee.  It also means I use hardly any milk these days.

Life is finally finding a balance between obsessively being concerned about the food I put in my body and being a mother to my kids and a wife to my husband.

Sadly these things never seemed to blend well.  I found it hard to be focused on ME and others at the same time.  Now its not just about ME ME ME its about just plain old BEING.

Its ok to have  lazy day.. Its ok to have some chocolate at 10pm watching NCIS.  I choose to only buy 85% organic chocolate.. its expensive $4 for 100g but I find I'm happy with just a cube or two and I nibble it.. the small sugar content doesn't play mind games for me.. and I'm happy to say I don't crave it.  I just like to have that rich cacao taste in my mouth.. 

My veg garden is coming along nicely with crops now starting to produce harvest.  I am currently enjoying my spinach and harvest it when its small and tender.  It looks rather like Warrigal greens (which I'm hoping to find a natural supply locally I can forage)  I have harvested several tasty radish and enjoying new ways of pepping up a salad.  I have a healthy herb garden that includes:  Parsley, sage, Rosemary, Thyme, Oregano, Basil, Mint, Stevia, Lemon Balm, Self Heal, Garlic Chives and wormwood. I am growing celery from shop bought celery hearts.  I love that we can grow veg from the left overs of ones purchased.

The other veg we are growing are Cherry Tomatoes, Black Russian Tomato, Chilli,  Fennel, Celeriac, Kale, Orange and Purple Carrots, leeks, shallots, pumpkin and we have a watermelon plant in flower (but not sure it will produce fruit) Passion Fruit, banana's, pineapple, oranges, white Mulberry, strawberries and raspberries.  

Not all are producing right now.. but we are very proud that we are developing a garden that is live giving.  

DO WHAT YOU SAY... Don't measure success by other peoples standards!

"Now I know my knowledge was based on half truths, mis information, misunderstanding how my body worked and not understanding the mind body connection.

As they say You are what you think! I was a walking diet… And diets are focused on being fat first!

Now I’m focusing on forgiving myself! It’s a daily task as I get rid of my limiting belief system and replace it with endless possibility…

I’m sure if I tell myself that enough one day soon I will believe it and live it lol"

I wrote this sage advice to a member of the GM support forum.  I wanted to blog about it as it is a timely reminder to me that sometimes you just got to keep telling yourself positive reinforcements and power giving mantra's and eventually you DO what you SAY.

Replacing a limiting belief system with endless possibility means to me that daily I need to reinforce positive beliefs with action.  

Action for me are in the form of Visualisations, tapping and sometimes its doing something like Qigong.  I have printed off  written affirmations which I am yet to put in useful locations around the house that I can remind myself.

Daily Juicing does NOT have to be routine and boring.  Some days a morning juice is just not going to happen.. but ensuring I nutritionally meet my needs daily is what matter.

Some days I have to remind myself that there are no longer Good Days or Bad Days..

I am a success story already.. I am winning this battle that was within.  My success is no longer measured by a BMI score but by attitude in action!


.

Gratitude = Attitude = Transformation

Tapping away Guilt and Shame

Today I was reminded how easy it is to feel attacked by a case of "Guilt and shame"  

Last night I made a quick meal for me and my husband.  The kids had gone to bed sick and we had had a big weekend.. We were all pretty tired so I had chucked on some Wild Rice mix to cook whilst I did very little else.  I decided to make a "fried" rice so I went and grabbed a baby leek from the garden and some garlic chives and I used healthy oils to sweat them off.  

I wanted to use some bacon as that smoky pork taste just makes me think Fried Rice but I only had some frozen peperoni slices so I grabbed some and cut up about 1/2 cup.. sweated it off and then added some zucchini slices and sweated those off.. then added it all to the drained wild rice and sprinkled in some Tamari and some Lemon Myrtle. 

It was amazing.. It would have been pretty bland so the little bit of peperoni added a level of flavour that would have been lost if it wasn't in there.. 

I shared this meal on my facebook GM Transformation page and woke this morning to someone challenging me about the Peperoni (which I had called Salami but what I used was actually a pizza topping) [NOTE: I have deleted the post now as I don't want to shame anyone nor do I want reminding of the conversation]

YES I know its a processed meat.  Yes it wasn't the best option but it was all I had to hand and I wanted that in my meal.  

Gabriel Method is about FREEDOM.. not depriving and if all I chose to do at that time was add peperoni then so be it.. However I also chose to have digestive enzymes and Gabriel Method green capsules to help process the meal.  That to me is the true nature of Gabriel Method.. it is to eat free of depriving thoughts that a diet mindset promote and to be able to have options of detoxing when you are just living a normal life. 

For me being challenged about food is STILL a trigger it seems.. One that I am grateful has shown itself today.  I immediately felt attacked, like I was being shamed and guilty.  It was NOT her fault and I know she had no idea that I would feel the way I did. 

Despite these feelings that rose pretty quickly I didn't feel like chucking in the towel.  I wont be having a tantrum and having a binge to stuff down the feelings.  I'm choosing to address it head on.  And RELEASE it to where it came from.

I have just used this Clearing method to release this issue - Its called Tapping and it works!



We have the power to get rid of guilt.. and I totally plan to NOT being a victim any longer

Will I use peperoni again.. Probably!

No looking back..

This has been a tough week.  Highs and lows emotionally that I can't really begin to explain to anyone else exactly what I went through.

I had times of Self Doubt that I'm proud to have experienced and not crashed and burned through.

I had times of feeling amazing and invincible like the world was perfect.

There were times of tiredness where I started to fear I was failing

And now.. Im in the moment post all of this and in a place where I can reflect and reclaim my life again.

I started to worry I was living too prescriptive.. almost diet like. My daily routine is a place of comfort for me.. but then I started doubting that I was doing "it" right..   'am I eating enough?'  'am I kidding myself?' 'will I really lose this weight ever?' 

How you do you go from living a "diet" mindset for 30+ years with everyone including society telling you there is only one way to lose weight but for some reason I had tried dozens and NONE of them were sustainable.

Suddenly I feel I found my key but yet the old fears are still there.. 'is this just going to join all those fads?'

The answer is NO.. I am not living a fad.. I am LIVING. and I am changing.  This is not a whim.. this actually makes sense to me. This is actually making me FEEL different.. FEEL WHOLE, FEEL ALIVE.  

Am I scared?  YES.. but not a prisoner or paralysed by fear.

I have amazing people in my life right now.. who understand me.. who hear my heart and I'm grateful to be alive!.  God is blessing me beyond measure and I trust HIM that this is right!

No more looking back.. No more living in Fear that paralysed me and held me prisoner; and forced me towards eating unhealthy pollutions.  

THIS IS MY LIFE AND I AM GOING  TO LIVE IT!

EMOTIONAL OBESITY - My Toolkit for Survival

Today I want to share with my followers the difficulties I face daily with the Mental side of life.  I know I am inspiring others with sharing my transformation journey but it goes beyond the daily juicing and whole food eating. I must share some sides that I'm not always proud of and that often scare me into action.

For a long time I have suffered numerous mental illnesses, ranging from depression, obsession, compulsion, eating disorders and borderline personality disorder (trait).

I know first hand the debilitating nature of Chronic Fatigue and have experienced many different forms of therapy and rehabilitation including Gestalt Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural, Psychiatry, Dieticians  Bariatric Surgery, high doses of the drug Fluoxitine (Prozac) as well as a month inpatient treatment at a Psychiatric hospital.

Before I share further I want you to know I'm no longer medicated and I'm no longer using "therapy".  I'm armed with a great "tool kit" from my experiences to help me through the days when I struggle.

LIFE INSIDE SKIPPY'S HEAD

Its a scary thought but you are probably wondering what life is like inside my head.. well let me share a story with you..

When I was 7 and in Yr 2 at school I was a cute kid.. but already a little messed up.  I had been medicated for night time bed wetting which I now know was caused by a psychological reason. The medication then caused constipation which then made be very physically sick for a long time and already suffering from Nutritional starvation.  At that young age it is clear to me that I was struggling with physical issues brought on by emotional issues at home.  

So one day in class we were given free time to do various activities in the class.  True Skippy style I focused on my task to intently that I was blocking out the rest of the world.. so I had obviously not heard the teacher say we had to remain in our desks (I think she was leaving the class room). I got up to change my work book and immediately got yelled at by the teacher (who was also the infants principle).  I was called to the front and smacked very hard on the back of my legs... demanded to sit down at my desk and then my best friend was instructed to ensure I didnt move and report if I did whilst she left the room.

I vividly remember the humiliation and absolute unfairness of this treatment.  To be smacked by the teacher was and still is a painful thing.  I remember crying and pretending to look in the drawer underneath the table top of my desk just so I could hide and not be seen by my classmates.  At the time I didn't even know what I had done wrong.

This is just one painful memory I have of times when I have unjustly got in trouble or where the punishment did NOT fit the crime.  

Public Humiliation become something of a chronic issue in my life and being wrong became the most painful wound.  This is very much the HEART of my Emotional Obesity.

Now 34 yrs later I am understanding that this wounding of my heart has caused a Trigger inside me that makes me sad, scared, feel stupid and a feel like a failure.  Its CRAZY that something so long ago STILL effects me today!.  The difference is I can now SEE it and I can now deal with it.

TOOL KIT IN ACTION

So over the weekend a few random people have made comments (innocent and not directly threatening) that I have taken to heart and "heard" as telling me I am wrong, stupid and a failure.  There are a number of ways this can happen but any form of correction I find very hard to NOT take personally and to not then have a knock on effect in my life...

Because I'm afraid of being wrong because I might be humiliated, I strive to be Perfect.  The smartest, fastest, most accurate, best at most things, know all.. I have a smug pride side of me that likes that I'm Intelligent and I also like others to see me as "somewhat of an expert"... and don't get me wrong.. fact is. I AM SMART and I do know a lot. lol.. BUT  there is a way of presenting that doesn't need to also attack me inside.  Being those things isnt BAD but letting them eat me like a Pride and Smugness IS a bad thing... especially when they blind me and detract from the GOOD things I'm doing for myself.  Lets face it.. knowledge is only as good as the action it produces!

So when I felt like I was once again WRONG on the weekend.. Immediately I go into shame mode.  I must say this is rarely happening these day but when it does,  it KICKS me hard.  

Its no surprise it happened when I was going away from home for the weekend.  Vulnerability of being out of routine is dangerous.  Also when I get slightly complacent with my life I am also vulnerable to being attacked emotionally.. Sabotaged by the ugly side of life... the side of "MY LIFE" anyway, that wants me to remain stuck forever in the "Less Quality being" that I had become.

Old strategies of dealing with this kind of emotion would be - SULK, Tantrum, Cry, Throw in the towel,  Binge eat and Anger.

NEW Strategies of dealing with negative, shame and fear emotions:

• RECOGNITION - seeing it for what it is has been the most liberating part of my journey.  KNOWING its happening and being able to see its a temporary fixable thing.

• REACTION - Don't react immediately.. my impulses to react are not yet healthy so an immediate reaction or action is actually not that helpful.

• ACCOUNTABILITY - who am I reacting for?  ME.. no one else.  its MY life and no other person has to live with the outcome (generally speaking) So acknowledging that my reaction will impact my journey is mega important.

• ACTION -  What am I going to do as a consequence?   Blog about it, change a habit, ADD something, meditate, Tapping, Clearing, chat to a friend, exercise, chores etc.  

If I can go through this process the PHYSICAL reaction of fear and shame disappear... because they have been seen for what they are.. a child response to a grown up situation.

So.. when I felt like I was wrong on the weekend.  I Kept Calm and carried on (as best as I could).  I fought off the desire to sulk and throw in the towel.  I am being accountable to ME by blogging about it and ADDING to my life.  I did the ABUNDANCE visualisation this morning so that my reaction wasn't one of depriving and I made a conscious choice to change or "tweak" a habit in order to keep growing in my journey.

By blogging and sharing this today I have been able to deal with a very important and very potent Emotional Obesity Trigger and it will decrease its chance of happening again - But also add accountability and hopefully HELP someone else.  

This is NOT an Inward selfish journey.. YES.. its MY journey but I was it to inspire others in theirs!

Treat or Tyrant?

This weekend my husband and I were treated to a rare weekend away child free! Anyone with kids will know how special this can be.

We chose a B&B less than an hour from home but right on Morton Bay which is east of the beautiful Brisbane Queensland. Hubby has been spending a lot of time working away from home so this was a well looked forward to time away. 

Where we stayed is Villa De Maria, run by a lovely retired Pilot and his wife.  They have their own jetty and yacht and the house is a Tuscan style villa.. with its own Olive Grove courtyard.  They were lovely hosts and we enjoyed it a lot.

We decided to have a sunset picnic by the water instead of going to Gold Class Cinema and it was such an amazing evening.  We had REAL Italian Sorbet watching the sun set then devoured cheese, fruit, ham and gluten free bread as the sun disappeared and the cool night began.  It did get rather chilly even here in Queensland! 

The Sunset was a amazing and there were several wedding parties taking advantage of the romantic setting.  Several families with their kids still out playing till dark and there was this AMAZING tree that was silhouetted by the sunset that looked like a "tree of life".  Pretty great place to be.

I felt great till the cold breeze picked up and we decided to make our exit and take a drive too look for a cafe to get a hot drink.

We ended up driving and then finding the local RSL and getting a cup of tea from there.  

By 7.30pm though I was feeling VERY tired.  I blame the sugary Sorbet.  Having detoxed my body off Cane Sugar I really feel its effect now and this is a good thing as I used to binge on and love eating candy and now see why my body would just go into a sugar coma every afternoon.

I love being able to FEEL effects of foods and be accountable to that reaction.  I love that control.. Im a control freak.  But I didn't like it last night when I could have been enjoying myself more than I was.  We could have gone for a night walk but I was exhausted.  Instead I had an early night watching TV in bed!..

I don't feel guilty for having the sorbet.. it was rather nice to begin with and I didn't finish mine as I found it too sweet half way through but I did enjoy it .. but ... happy to not have it again.  It didn't "rock my world" in a great way.  My taste is just so different.  

I'm grateful for the journey I am on.  LIVING not just blindly existing.  Making choices not just being a victim. 

My treats don't have to be a tyrants but they can be learning experiences!

What's Triggering Your Weight Gain?

 TAKE THE QUIZ TO FIND OUT YOUR FAT TRIGGERS

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Sometimes you need to look at life from a different perspective!

I'm an over organiser.  I always arrive Early, I over pack and I over plan.. this I always prided myself in as a quality.  Now I am seeing its my way of "being in control" and I see now it actually caused me more work and more stress.

Gabriel Method has taught me to "go with the flow" a bit more.  Be flexible, Be spontaneous and be less stressed..

AND I LOVE IT!

Yesterday was my birthday and I had friend coming for the afternoon.. Normally I would be stroppy and panicky wanting everything just perfect.  I would set up my expectations so high that the reality was so under my estimations I would feel disappointed and stressed.  We had such a lot to do before guest arrived as Tom has been away working interstate most of the week and had jobs outside he needed to do for me before I could even begin to set up my High Tea birthday.  Instead of waking up on my birthday stressing I really enjoyed myself.  I relaxed, I enjoyed opening the gifts from my kids and husband.  I leisurely made my breakfast.  I finished preparing a few treats I had made for the High Tea and then at 10am I went shopping on my own.. something I would normally drag the whole family out and we would all be annoyed at each other.. etc

It was lovely going on my own.  I knew one thing i wanted to buy (my Blender) and I had researched the one I wanted so went straight to that shop, I didn't have to wait or argue with kids.. I just made my purchase... but after that purchase I was free to choose. 

I decided to get my hair cut.. No appointment just chose the location of a hairdressers I wanted to try.  When I got there she was too busy to fit in a walk in, I felt a bit disappointed and thought Oh well it can wait.. so I went to the nearby green grocers and checked out some speciality shops then as I was walking back to the car I passed the hairdressers again and I noticed it was empty and a staff member was looking bored so I cheekily asked again if they were available.. and BINGO.. her appointment hadn't turned up and I could be fit in.. turned out to be the BEST thing ever.. she understood my hair needs we chatted, laughed and I really enjoyed myself and then when finished I was super happy with the result.. and then the price... $21.50  BARGAIN.. I usually pay $26 at Just-cuts .. Thanks Sheering Shed hair dressers in Regents Park you made my birthday a treat... http://www.facebook.com/shearingshedenteratownrisk

I got home and its was about 12pm and my guests would be arriving at 2.30pm.  I had a lot to do to make my home good and my husband still hadn't finished getting the outside entertainment dining area ready to set up. So instead of getting cranky and resentful I just set to doing a few jobs and thought .. "its ok.. its the company not the food or trimmings that is important" (<A very new concept to me).

I vacuumed and tidied and got stuck into the tasks at hand.. I got enough done that were important and then had time to choose an outfit and change.  I wore a dress I haven't worn for over a year because last time I tried it on it didn't fit my bust and stomach area and just wasnt comfortable; my arms were a disgrace in it... this time it was just perfect, the dress part was loose, the bust area fit fine (though my darling boobs are impressively obvious still), and my arms are looking amazing and I felt GREAT in it.  The High Tea was a great time with beautiful friends.

Not the best angle to show off my face but I love this photo all the same!
My upper arms are smooth and you can see I have shoulders!! 

Today.. my kids begged us to see The Croods at the cinema.. they has missed out during the holidays and I said daddy might take them.. We went to shopping centre/cinema complex together and I decided NOT to see the film but to use the time to do stuff on my own.

I'm liking this "On My Own" milarky.. why have I always been so dependant on someone else's company to enjoy myself or window shop!  I had birthday money to spend so I chose to utilise a $20 off birthday voucher I received and purchase two very sweet silver rings.  One says LOVE and other says LOVE, HOPE, FAITH.  These represent my journey very well.

Enjoying time on my own represents a HUGE change in me.  It means I can trust my own company, trust myself, enjoy my own company without getting bored or lonely and I am emotionally LIVING in the real world not hiding behind some one else for security.  I feel confident and competent and fearless.

This year I am having to learn to be independent as my husband has to work interstate every week and so is away from home at least 50% of the week.    I am learning to be ok with just being on my own.  I'm learning to be independent (sure I still enjoy being waited on by hubby when he is home)  But I have the opportunity to do things for myself .. giving myself permission to be ME.

Slowly as a family we are working through quality time with each other, not just as husband and wife but with our kids as individuals.  However, next weekend hubby and I are being treated to a weekend away.. my BFF is having my kids and paying for us to have a weekend date!.  What a blessing to our marriage.  Its good timing for us as we have had little time alone to be US.. not mum and dad.  

This year we celebrate 20 years of married life... this is a great year!

Queen for a Day!

Today was the first Birthday I have celebrated since starting my Gabriel Method journey.  I really notice the change in me... not just physically but mentally.

My love language is Gifts.. I LOVE to give and receive them.. and its a bit alien to me anyone who does NOT share my passion for it.

In the past my birthday have been the perfect excuse to binge on processed foods.  To delight in the celebration that was always my permission to be greedy.

When ever I have had friends over they will confirm I have always gone OTT with the Salty and Sweet processed junk food goodies that were my old addicted passion.

But this year I opted to exhibit some of my alternative options of making my own home made mostly raw cake.  My friend made some Gluten free scones and we had yummy Tea and just Chilled Water... (no soft drinks or juices).

I didn't want to be depriving and my friends all contributed with yummy sugary goodies but I actually was content with the items I ate, enjoyed them lovingly, actually TASTED THEM.. savoured them.. and felt in LOVE with my food for once instead of chowing down mentally numb to flavour.... and I never felt I was missing out even thought my old nemesis NENISH TARTS were in attendance.

I made my own birthday cake; I researched a great deal for recipes that had ingredients I already had and knew I could make and i must say my end result was pretty darn awesome..

The base was made just with Nuts, dates and coconut oil, the middle layer was Avocado, cacao powder, coconut butter, coconut palm sugar and coconut oil and a little real vanilla.  The top was a gluten free brownie packet mix with added walnuts and pepita's...and it really was AMAZING...

I also didn't feel over occupied in "food" gathering before the High Tea,  and I even spent a couple of hours out on my own spending birthday money and getting my hair cut.  It was just awesome.. to be Queen for the day!

Life should always have moments when we can be Queen (or king).. where the we are the centre of attention.. but I am glad I never let it go to my head and forget my friends and family.  I'm so totally blessed by some amazing women in my life who all make me want to be the BEST me I can be.  They inspire me so much..... to me.. they are my hero's.. .. worth their weight in Gold!  (and Thanks to my hubby who watched 6 very excitable 3 - 7 yr old boys who were having their own play date at the same time - I hardly even noticed them).

Thank you to the 5 gorgeous and fabulous ladies who came and shared High Tea with me and let me be Queen for a couple of hours..   Its an honour to have you in my life!.

xx

HRH Skippy!

Pre-Birthday Ponders

Me and my Daddy in 1972

Tomorrow is my 41st Birthday and I always have a little ponder about the last year and the coming year.

This time last year I was a very heavy weight.  I was anxious and hiding.  I did have an awesome 40th Birthday garden party with very special sweet friends and an amazing delicious cake made exactly how I wanted.

This year last year has been an amazing whirlwind of change.  

In May 2012 when looking for further ways of living a Whole-food life, I found The Gabriel Method for weight loss   I was impressed by Jons testimony and for the first time found a kindred spirit that backed up my belief that Diets Don't Work.

I started learning a lot about Jon's process to freedom from Obesity and the holistic approach he followed (and now teaches)  I wasn't trying too hard and I had not emerged myself into the daily visualising yet but in July I got an email inviting me to consider joining a new Case Study program Jon was offering for 6 months.  I felt nervous and excited.. I knew it was for me but the financial cost was a massive commitment.  But I trusted Jon enough to say YES... 

3 weeks after joining Case Study.. my husbands once secure job was made redundant.  Our world came tumbling down.. Suddenly we had no regular income and thought he got a payout that we had no idea how long it had to last and how we would manage.  

No work was around.. a LOT of people in our City had lost their jobs in the same industry and because of the high level of my husbands credentials he was just too expensive to employ! 

Times were tough..  Stress was high and if it was not for The Gabriel Method and Case Study I would NOT have got through the following months without having to return to medication.

My Gabriel Coach, Marjolijn, was a divine appointment.  A true blessing in my life.  I call her my Mummy Bird.. she held my hand through some tough soul work.  I chose to commit our precious finances to me seeing the case study program through, because the benefit to our family was worth it... even if it meant I had to get fit enough to work.  Im so glad I saw it through.   

The last half of 2012 are a blur and a whirlwind of emotion and memories.  So much has happened yet I feel its disappeared in the blink of an eye.  I think that is what happens when you live in the Present.. you no longer have time to dwell or store up negativity.. which lets be honest I know I had formed a habit of doing.

I was able to release some very painful memories from childhood and as I released these things back to where they came from, I started to find a freedom I had never known.  Freedom to discover ME.  Who I wanted to be, learn who I COULD be and its been amazing!

My journey has been less about weight loss and more about EVERYTHING.  My weight is a symptom of other more important concerns and THOSE are what I am choosing to address!

Part of the Case Study was an all access pass to Jon's events. This including attending his Kiama 4 day Retreat.  I signed up before my husband had found work and I just prayed we would be able to afford travel and accommodation when the time arrived in March 2013.

My husband did find a job before Christmas but his start date was not until January 2013.  Our financial situation was getting dire but at NO POINT did we ever not have enough to pay the essential bills due.. and this continues the to be the case despite the fact that his new job was a huge pay cut!.

Jon's Kiama Retreat was a massive turning point.. and i think all paths were leading to it.  so much of my life's journey came to a conclusion there.  And a HUGE door of New Hope opened. I stepped through it.. sang a welcome song to it and here I am.. writing a blog about my daily journey.

I sometimes read my blog or look in the mirror and say "who IS that woman?"  I know there are aspects of myself that are still evolving.  But I feel the true me has come out kicking, fighting and WINNING.

Since Kiama, my body has started to respond to the detoxing lifestyle I live.  I'm not weighing myself so I can't give my dear readers figures... but my Facebook page  http://www.facebook.com/SkippysTransformation has a few progress photos if you need to proof..   

This coming year is going to blow my mind if I think about it too hard.  I am focusing on the short term... this keeps me grounded.. but my Dreams and Visualisations are limitless..

NO REGRETS - NO FAILURES... JUST A JOURNEY.