Confessions of a nutcase

So today I decided to publicly journal my day as its been hard but I am succeeding in not making it and old "diet head bad day"

This morning I was feeling very lazy.. didn't really want to get up and get the boys ready for school.. and as usual they were also being mega lazy and refusing to listen to me etc etc.

Then I felt miffed because I had left the kitchen in a big mess.. (really miss my Tom who often cleans up my kitchen so that I have a great mental place to be in the morning)

Finally the S hit the F when I saw what a pigsty the boys had made the play room.. including dirty clothes and dishes.. just pure laziness that just Popped my cork..

I just had such a rage over it.. and I banned the boys from TV for the weekend (which equates to Saturday as Sundays are TV free anyway) and then I got really angry and said if it was cleaned up NOW that there would be no playground visit or play dates etc etc..

Ugh.. it was NOT my proudest mothering moment... I ended up with an angry grumpy 5 year old and a teary angry 7 yr old and we only just made it to school just before the bell!

All day its put me off. ..THEN I made a stinking putrid juice with the pesky sprouts and I was in no mood to pretend it was delicious.. It stank like my mood and since I have been battling my mind of guilt, determination NOT to let it control my eating and then craving salt!..

So.. I listened to a Chakra Meditation.. Starting reading Jon Gabriels book introduction (when he tells his testimony) and I have been keeping focused on the right way forward for me.

I made a new juice, I made a coffee (decided Im not ready to give up that yet) I took my thus far missed nutritional supplements and I made a new juice with items I knew I would like.

Life shouldn't be about the should NOTs but about the SHOULDS..

Shoulds encourage action.. Should NOTS encourage dissatisfaction.

Now I have blogged this.. I should Apologise to my kids this afternoon.. and make a delicious dinner (hey.. its my love language!)

I SHOULD make sure my home is respectable to receive my Husband home after his 3 days away working.

Eventually my SHOULDS turn into WILLS and My WILL power becomes who I am!!

here endeth my confession of a Nut case!