No looking back..

This has been a tough week.  Highs and lows emotionally that I can't really begin to explain to anyone else exactly what I went through.

I had times of Self Doubt that I'm proud to have experienced and not crashed and burned through.

I had times of feeling amazing and invincible like the world was perfect.

There were times of tiredness where I started to fear I was failing

And now.. Im in the moment post all of this and in a place where I can reflect and reclaim my life again.

I started to worry I was living too prescriptive.. almost diet like. My daily routine is a place of comfort for me.. but then I started doubting that I was doing "it" right..   'am I eating enough?'  'am I kidding myself?' 'will I really lose this weight ever?' 

How you do you go from living a "diet" mindset for 30+ years with everyone including society telling you there is only one way to lose weight but for some reason I had tried dozens and NONE of them were sustainable.

Suddenly I feel I found my key but yet the old fears are still there.. 'is this just going to join all those fads?'

The answer is NO.. I am not living a fad.. I am LIVING. and I am changing.  This is not a whim.. this actually makes sense to me. This is actually making me FEEL different.. FEEL WHOLE, FEEL ALIVE.  

Am I scared?  YES.. but not a prisoner or paralysed by fear.

I have amazing people in my life right now.. who understand me.. who hear my heart and I'm grateful to be alive!.  God is blessing me beyond measure and I trust HIM that this is right!

No more looking back.. No more living in Fear that paralysed me and held me prisoner; and forced me towards eating unhealthy pollutions.  

THIS IS MY LIFE AND I AM GOING  TO LIVE IT!