LIFE Detox

Well its that time in my journey where I am starting to detoxify other areas of my life.. not just my physical body or just my emotional well being (though these are continued ongoing developing areas)... 

The area I am tackling is our House... both my husband and I are "collectors" and neither of us are ever willing to throw things away.. there is always a "just in case" scenario.  We manage to build up piles and piles of papers (mostly junk mail and old correspondence) and then we don't just have a junk draw where odds and ends go to die we have whole rooms full of these things.  

Over the years I watched shows like "Hoarders" with great interest as I have seen the emotional baggage attached to the physical clutter people have hoarded.  I have also identified with them too.  I cry with them as they realise that holding onto prem size nappies is not going to bring back a lost baby etc etc.. and these people end up freeing them self of the clutter by dealing with the emotional issues. 

Most of my life I have been a messy house keeper; especially my bedroom.  This developed over the years as I felt a real deep sense of deprivation, neglect and other emotional issues.  (all of which have contributed to my obesity issues).  I think Safety has been a major contributor to my own mess issues.. it makes sense that I would feel safe by leaving things on the floor that people could trip over.. but also hiding things.. its easier to hid precious belongings in amongth the mess etc.. What ever the reasons.. these all really don't apply now.  I am SAFE.. and am SECURE.. and have Abundance. 

Now, as a mother, I am understanding how my own children's desire for mess can be simple or can go deep and I have to be mindful to encourage not discourage self respect and respect for abundance in our life.

I am blogging about all this now as its a fresh struggle and its impacting my whole journey.

I am LOVING sorting and throwing out stuff.. but there is still a little part of me screaming inside.. scared and unwilling.  Its not a huge part, but there all the same.  

One thing I have learned about myself is that I find it very difficult to focus and do more than one thing at a time..  or should I say devoted attention to more than one thing.  I am very good at throwing myself in to things head first and become absorbed in them obsessively.. its like living life in a perpetual diet that you must focus on and follow to the letter.. well all my life seems to be like that.  I become obsessive and compulsive and ultra focused.. and this is just not a balance life.  

This week I have been thinking a lot about food.. and its no surprise that its been coinciding with my new found desire to become clutter free and its also no surprise its when I have been focusing also on trying to eat Organic NON GM foods more.

I have this set expectation for myself.. a set of standards that I want to achieve and I place a good or bad value on my day based on achieving those goals.  I know the things I SHOULD be doing to attain perfection and there is lots of things I COULD be doing to be best version of myself but the DOING is often far removed from these things.  

HOWEVER... Living life by SHOULDS or COULDS is never going to end well as I am NOT and NEVER WILL be Perfect... no matter how much I desire it, wish for it or visualisation it the fact remains that Perfection is never going to happen.  Only my BEST can be achieved.. and that's not measurable.. its only DO-ABLE!  BUT If I obsess and keep telling myself I am NEVER going to be Perfect and focusing on the drive to be so I will not have time or focus on DOING and BEING.  Its not about Perfection its about Being... and Living.. not by fixed rules but being open to living true to myself.

I have a moral and spiritual standard that I live by but its NOT limiting my ability to be healthy, wise and loving.