Believing for Abundance... Bring it on Life!

Since starting this journey I have struggled with the idea of Abundance.  Through out my life this concept of abundance has been like a thorn in my side.   Is it selfish to want more.. is it selfish to assume I deserve the best.  

Sometimes I would dream of being rich with unlimited money or dream of being famous  but when I dwell on this the reality is always so disappointing and distracts me. 

I get challenged too by parts of society that I should be grateful for my "first world life" and that I have already attained Abundance just by my very birth... when you see the world differently with a new focus you suddenly measure your "lot" by that of those worse off... its all about perception.  

But the fact is I can have Abundance that does not have to be out of my reach and is not all about monetary measures

My feeling of lacking abundance issues go deep.. they manifest them self in odd ways.  One of which is my unconscious habit of buying TWO of things when I go grocery shopping.  Despite being aware of doing it now I still do it.. and even in the moment question myself "Am I genuinely needing two of that?"  - it's like I have convinced myself that I will run out of food!.

It doesn't help that I have two sons and two cats.  

I never grew up in a family that was poor.. however for several reason I grew up feeling deprived.  Don't get me wrong.. there is no blame here.. it is what it is.. it developed from my perception of the world.  For some reason I felt a lack in life!    

My world focus as a child needing something she wasn't getting ended up feeling the need to horde belongings and eat junk food. (and put on FAT layers over my body)

I also developed feeling a sense of comfort having mess and chaos around me.  Yet when my home is tidy my mind feels relaxed and peaceful.  

So  what am I doing TODAY to live in Abundance and to deal with cleaning my mind of the clutter so that I can feel fulfilled and worth??

Today I cleaned my Kitchen Sink with Bleach and its now sparkling like new.  (I love the smell of bleach.. it resonates cleanliness)

Today I soaked, washed and cut up Kale and Celery and put them in fridge Tupperware for my daily juicing needs.

Today I looked in the mirror and told myself how amazing I look and how Fabulous I am doing and that I am not deprived.

Today I shared my heart with a trusted friend - letting go of my current struggles.. she heard my heart and continued to cheer me on.. reminding me how amazing I am doing.. 

I'm not shy of saying I amaze myself when I look at my  progress photo's.  and I know I should be proud of myself.. because what I am doing is amazing.. and it is for keeps! 

I am learning that I don't have to take on other peoples issues.  I am learning that I can LOVE life on a limited budget.. but above all I am BLESSED.

On the side of MONEY.. I do actually believe in the power of Abundant thinking influencing my finances..  if you don't believe in the power of the perception of abundance.. well since I have been visualising "healthy" abundance our financial situation has remained stable and unexpected cash will turn up .  Like yesterday the only post we got was actually a random unexpected Cheque from Energex (the electricity suppliers) .. they wrote said they didn't comply by their service standard contract with us when we lost power for 24hrs recently.  Well.. Thanks.. don't mind if we do.  Plus unpredictable mystery shopping jobs become available to me and it gives us boosts to our budget to meet all our needs.

YES Abundance is more than money.. it's that feeling of having enough...... enough love.... enough peace.... enough friends.... enough attention... enough food...  but above all its about GIVING!  When you have enough you give more!

One thing I know for sure is............................no matter how much I have... I am Good Enough!