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LIFE Detox

Well its that time in my journey where I am starting to detoxify other areas of my life.. not just my physical body or just my emotional well being (though these are continued ongoing developing areas)... 

The area I am tackling is our House... both my husband and I are "collectors" and neither of us are ever willing to throw things away.. there is always a "just in case" scenario.  We manage to build up piles and piles of papers (mostly junk mail and old correspondence) and then we don't just have a junk draw where odds and ends go to die we have whole rooms full of these things.  

Over the years I watched shows like "Hoarders" with great interest as I have seen the emotional baggage attached to the physical clutter people have hoarded.  I have also identified with them too.  I cry with them as they realise that holding onto prem size nappies is not going to bring back a lost baby etc etc.. and these people end up freeing them self of the clutter by dealing with the emotional issues. 

Most of my life I have been a messy house keeper; especially my bedroom.  This developed over the years as I felt a real deep sense of deprivation, neglect and other emotional issues.  (all of which have contributed to my obesity issues).  I think Safety has been a major contributor to my own mess issues.. it makes sense that I would feel safe by leaving things on the floor that people could trip over.. but also hiding things.. its easier to hid precious belongings in amongth the mess etc.. What ever the reasons.. these all really don't apply now.  I am SAFE.. and am SECURE.. and have Abundance. 

Now, as a mother, I am understanding how my own children's desire for mess can be simple or can go deep and I have to be mindful to encourage not discourage self respect and respect for abundance in our life.

I am blogging about all this now as its a fresh struggle and its impacting my whole journey.

I am LOVING sorting and throwing out stuff.. but there is still a little part of me screaming inside.. scared and unwilling.  Its not a huge part, but there all the same.  

One thing I have learned about myself is that I find it very difficult to focus and do more than one thing at a time..  or should I say devoted attention to more than one thing.  I am very good at throwing myself in to things head first and become absorbed in them obsessively.. its like living life in a perpetual diet that you must focus on and follow to the letter.. well all my life seems to be like that.  I become obsessive and compulsive and ultra focused.. and this is just not a balance life.  

This week I have been thinking a lot about food.. and its no surprise that its been coinciding with my new found desire to become clutter free and its also no surprise its when I have been focusing also on trying to eat Organic NON GM foods more.

I have this set expectation for myself.. a set of standards that I want to achieve and I place a good or bad value on my day based on achieving those goals.  I know the things I SHOULD be doing to attain perfection and there is lots of things I COULD be doing to be best version of myself but the DOING is often far removed from these things.  

HOWEVER... Living life by SHOULDS or COULDS is never going to end well as I am NOT and NEVER WILL be Perfect... no matter how much I desire it, wish for it or visualisation it the fact remains that Perfection is never going to happen.  Only my BEST can be achieved.. and that's not measurable.. its only DO-ABLE!  BUT If I obsess and keep telling myself I am NEVER going to be Perfect and focusing on the drive to be so I will not have time or focus on DOING and BEING.  Its not about Perfection its about Being... and Living.. not by fixed rules but being open to living true to myself.

I have a moral and spiritual standard that I live by but its NOT limiting my ability to be healthy, wise and loving.  

The Power of visualising abundance

Previously I have shared about my journey of believing in Abundance.. and I have thoroughly been embracing the belief system that I have EVERYTHING I need.  I have stopped apologising for being ME and I surround myself by positive people.

So.. I have been getting on with life when suddenly.....

Today I got a phone call to say I had won a 1kg bag of Soap Nuts from a recent Eco Festival I attended.    These amazing natural nut shells are the perfect natural alternative for all cleaning products and washing powders and soaps.. its amazing.. its worth $40!!  and will save at least the same in cleaning products over the next 6 months!  

http://www.purerevolution.com.au

But that's not all..  I get home from collecting my prize to receive a reminder text message from my phone company saying my bill is due in 2 days time.. well I had already paid it earlier that day as I knew it was due - I never thought to check the online billing for the current balance.... but the text message said I actually had $53.97 credit in my account!  I rang them to ask why ... they haven't a clue and said I can keep the credit!!  That's 30% off my bill next month!.. 

Do I credit these things to coincidence or the power of believing that God provides all our needs and gives us LIFE in abundance?

 I go for the Latter.. I am living a GOD FILLED.. GOD DRIVEN.. DIVINE LIFE.... and I am appreciating every moment!

My own Journey is my destiny

With weight loss diet plans its always highly "goal" orientated.. and I struggled all the time knowing what was a realistic and ideal goal.  I could never set a goal because I never understood why some weeks my body shed lots of weight and others I put on weight.

When I discovered the Gabriel Method all the old DIET ways were thrown in the bin and new concepts and ideas were presented.

Understanding my BODY first and its needs was something I had surface knowledge of (like every experienced diet follower learns) but I never understood the core root of WHY my body was fat to begin with.

Society have "dumbed" down the whole understanding of weight loss/gain and tried to convince the world its all about Calories IN and Energy OUT.  Yes this is PART of the process.. but it NEVER factored in the Brain and Body connection.  Slowly that message is getting out there.

I have seen through the TV show The Biggest Loser that they are finally focusing on the MENTAL relationships side of Obesity and less on the exercise and food aspects.. and this years Australian Families Biggest loser is the first one I watched "religiously" with my 7 yr old son and I respected the show.. enjoyed its entertainment value but also the way it enabled conversations with the kids and implementation of NEW ways in our house hold.

For me I no longer have a GOAL that is weight focused.  I'm focusing on little steps and bigger respect for my body, my soul, my spirit, my LIFE as a whole.

Life is now a JOURNEY and Destination in ONE.  I am seeing every moment as an arrival.  Every experience as a Fait Accompli because every second counts!.  Every word, breath, mouthful of food, thought, emotion, interaction .. EVERYTHING matters.  Its what focus I put on everything individually that will determine next steps.

If I focus too much on FOOD.. then I find my mind can't focus on my SOUL.. if I focus too much on NEGATIVES.. I can't focus on LOVING..   If I focus too much on being SICK.. I can't focus on being WELL.


WHAT IS YOUR FOCUS TODAY ON?   

Every moment matters. ..  I want to embrace and enjoy it all!

Believing for Abundance... Bring it on Life!

Since starting this journey I have struggled with the idea of Abundance.  Through out my life this concept of abundance has been like a thorn in my side.   Is it selfish to want more.. is it selfish to assume I deserve the best.  

Sometimes I would dream of being rich with unlimited money or dream of being famous  but when I dwell on this the reality is always so disappointing and distracts me. 

I get challenged too by parts of society that I should be grateful for my "first world life" and that I have already attained Abundance just by my very birth... when you see the world differently with a new focus you suddenly measure your "lot" by that of those worse off... its all about perception.  

But the fact is I can have Abundance that does not have to be out of my reach and is not all about monetary measures

My feeling of lacking abundance issues go deep.. they manifest them self in odd ways.  One of which is my unconscious habit of buying TWO of things when I go grocery shopping.  Despite being aware of doing it now I still do it.. and even in the moment question myself "Am I genuinely needing two of that?"  - it's like I have convinced myself that I will run out of food!.

It doesn't help that I have two sons and two cats.  

I never grew up in a family that was poor.. however for several reason I grew up feeling deprived.  Don't get me wrong.. there is no blame here.. it is what it is.. it developed from my perception of the world.  For some reason I felt a lack in life!    

My world focus as a child needing something she wasn't getting ended up feeling the need to horde belongings and eat junk food. (and put on FAT layers over my body)

I also developed feeling a sense of comfort having mess and chaos around me.  Yet when my home is tidy my mind feels relaxed and peaceful.  

So  what am I doing TODAY to live in Abundance and to deal with cleaning my mind of the clutter so that I can feel fulfilled and worth??

Today I cleaned my Kitchen Sink with Bleach and its now sparkling like new.  (I love the smell of bleach.. it resonates cleanliness)

Today I soaked, washed and cut up Kale and Celery and put them in fridge Tupperware for my daily juicing needs.

Today I looked in the mirror and told myself how amazing I look and how Fabulous I am doing and that I am not deprived.

Today I shared my heart with a trusted friend - letting go of my current struggles.. she heard my heart and continued to cheer me on.. reminding me how amazing I am doing.. 

I'm not shy of saying I amaze myself when I look at my  progress photo's.  and I know I should be proud of myself.. because what I am doing is amazing.. and it is for keeps! 

I am learning that I don't have to take on other peoples issues.  I am learning that I can LOVE life on a limited budget.. but above all I am BLESSED.

On the side of MONEY.. I do actually believe in the power of Abundant thinking influencing my finances..  if you don't believe in the power of the perception of abundance.. well since I have been visualising "healthy" abundance our financial situation has remained stable and unexpected cash will turn up .  Like yesterday the only post we got was actually a random unexpected Cheque from Energex (the electricity suppliers) .. they wrote said they didn't comply by their service standard contract with us when we lost power for 24hrs recently.  Well.. Thanks.. don't mind if we do.  Plus unpredictable mystery shopping jobs become available to me and it gives us boosts to our budget to meet all our needs.

YES Abundance is more than money.. it's that feeling of having enough...... enough love.... enough peace.... enough friends.... enough attention... enough food...  but above all its about GIVING!  When you have enough you give more!

One thing I know for sure is............................no matter how much I have... I am Good Enough!

Living and not being controlled

I am sorry I have not blogged for a while.  I have been working on LIVING instead of being overly obsessive about food, Gabriel Method and the semantics of Nutrition. 

I have a huge knowledge base already of what I 'should' be doing and I have to trust myself now to KNOW the right thing to do day in and day out.

I have had a huge liberation from feeling the need to actually Juice daily (I am still drinking Green Juice every day though) once I trusted that I could make a batch of Juice that would last a couple of days.  This has let me off the leash for some freedom to get on with life and enjoy it.

I have been able to eat out with my family and "GM" up my meals by carrying Chia seeds with me.   I also carry my own "sugar" blend to sweeten my green teas and occasional long black coffee..  Its basically Half Coconut Palm Sugar granules and Half Xylitol granules.  Its a really nice blend as its not overly sweet but it adds flavour to what can be bitterness from tea and coffee.  It also means I use hardly any milk these days.

Life is finally finding a balance between obsessively being concerned about the food I put in my body and being a mother to my kids and a wife to my husband.

Sadly these things never seemed to blend well.  I found it hard to be focused on ME and others at the same time.  Now its not just about ME ME ME its about just plain old BEING.

Its ok to have  lazy day.. Its ok to have some chocolate at 10pm watching NCIS.  I choose to only buy 85% organic chocolate.. its expensive $4 for 100g but I find I'm happy with just a cube or two and I nibble it.. the small sugar content doesn't play mind games for me.. and I'm happy to say I don't crave it.  I just like to have that rich cacao taste in my mouth.. 

My veg garden is coming along nicely with crops now starting to produce harvest.  I am currently enjoying my spinach and harvest it when its small and tender.  It looks rather like Warrigal greens (which I'm hoping to find a natural supply locally I can forage)  I have harvested several tasty radish and enjoying new ways of pepping up a salad.  I have a healthy herb garden that includes:  Parsley, sage, Rosemary, Thyme, Oregano, Basil, Mint, Stevia, Lemon Balm, Self Heal, Garlic Chives and wormwood. I am growing celery from shop bought celery hearts.  I love that we can grow veg from the left overs of ones purchased.

The other veg we are growing are Cherry Tomatoes, Black Russian Tomato, Chilli,  Fennel, Celeriac, Kale, Orange and Purple Carrots, leeks, shallots, pumpkin and we have a watermelon plant in flower (but not sure it will produce fruit) Passion Fruit, banana's, pineapple, oranges, white Mulberry, strawberries and raspberries.  

Not all are producing right now.. but we are very proud that we are developing a garden that is live giving.  

DO WHAT YOU SAY... Don't measure success by other peoples standards!

"Now I know my knowledge was based on half truths, mis information, misunderstanding how my body worked and not understanding the mind body connection.

As they say You are what you think! I was a walking diet… And diets are focused on being fat first!

Now I’m focusing on forgiving myself! It’s a daily task as I get rid of my limiting belief system and replace it with endless possibility…

I’m sure if I tell myself that enough one day soon I will believe it and live it lol"

I wrote this sage advice to a member of the GM support forum.  I wanted to blog about it as it is a timely reminder to me that sometimes you just got to keep telling yourself positive reinforcements and power giving mantra's and eventually you DO what you SAY.

Replacing a limiting belief system with endless possibility means to me that daily I need to reinforce positive beliefs with action.  

Action for me are in the form of Visualisations, tapping and sometimes its doing something like Qigong.  I have printed off  written affirmations which I am yet to put in useful locations around the house that I can remind myself.

Daily Juicing does NOT have to be routine and boring.  Some days a morning juice is just not going to happen.. but ensuring I nutritionally meet my needs daily is what matter.

Some days I have to remind myself that there are no longer Good Days or Bad Days..

I am a success story already.. I am winning this battle that was within.  My success is no longer measured by a BMI score but by attitude in action!


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Gratitude = Attitude = Transformation